Rants & Raves of Jasmine's Fiction

Shiny Superheroes

When it comes to the world of shiny superheroes (and supervillains), I'm a huge fan.  It’s true that some purist out there will think that I'm full of shit because I don't collect 1^st editions and use gloves and tweezers to handle my glossies, but heck, I love comic books.

Yep.  I love comic books.  Or if you really want to be PC; Graphic Novels.   (Fine, I know that as a girl I'm not supposed to like these things but to heck with social norms.)  There's just something about the uniformity, the layout, and all those sleek designs on glossy paper.  Not to mention how art and words fuse in perfect harmony into wonderful stories – so be it 30 years past or 30 years hence, we will (still) be enjoying comic books.  Sorry, Graphic Novels.

Seriously.  How else could we possibly fall in love with blind homicidal vigilantes (Daredevil); orphaned billionaire womanisers with genius intellects that spends all their free time when not fighting crime and indulging in their vices inventing cool stuff (Batman & Iron Man) and geeky nerds accidentally bestowed with apocalyptic powers trying desperately to cope with life (Spiderman & Hulk)?  How else can everyone in those imaginary worlds be perfectly built (ripped muscles, perfectly formed limbs, gorgeous faces and other uh, assets) and how else can super twisted evil geniuses take over the world?

And lkets face it.  Without comics graphic novels where would-Hollywood-find ideas on what movies to make?  Just Marvel Comics alone have spawned several blockbusters – Blade, Spiderman, X-Men (trilogies); Fantastic 4, Hulk, Punisher (duologies); Daredevil, Elektra, Ghost Rider, and the new and upcoming Iron Man.   DC Comics gave us Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Batman, (and the rest of the Justice League), V For Vendetta, Constantine, Teen Titans, Catwoman, League of Extraordinary Gentleman and Road To Perdition. 

I don't even have to mention (but I will) Frank Miller's fantastic artwork in his stories like 300 and-Sin-City-and his Robocop and Dark Knight. 

And please don't tell me that comics are only for kids!  If you feel that way, go do yourself a favour and go pick up the original 300 and you tell me if you will let your kids read stuff like that.  If that's too much for you, you can ask my mother to lend you her Modesty Blaise series.  :D  Its definitely lighter fare than a lot of the Dark Horse Comics stuff but its still geared towards adults. 

Of course its true that comics started out as child entertainment (back in the days before we had colour TV and iPods and X-Boxes) and there are many 'kiddie' comics that I still enjoy till today like Richie Rich, MAD, Beeno, Archie, Asterix & Obelix and the more family oriented ones like Zits, Pickles, Calvin & Hobbs , Peanuts, Garfield etc.  But for me, nothing quite beats the shiny superheroes & evil supervillains.

I recently rediscovered my interest for billionaire industrialist alcoholic womanising inventor Tony Stark or better known as The Invincible Iron

Man.

  In the light of all the recent hype over Superman and Batman, I forgot what the Avengers use to be like for me when I was little with Captain America leading the fore with his shield against BlackWidow from the Cold War, the caustic S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Nick Fury and of course, the mysterious Iron Man in his power suit.

So last month when my hubby brought back home the Ultimate Avengers, (re-imagined to fit today's society, technology, mindset and scenarios) I devoured both DVDs like I was 8 years old again with my first glossy copy of Captain America & The Mighty Avengers.  And just last weekend I managed to find some time to watch the animated version of The Invincible Iron Man (vs. my favourite villain, The Mandarin).

What's not to like about him?  Aside from the womanising alcoholic part.  And the arrogant, disrespectful, egotistical part.  And the single minded industrialist part.  And the weapons maker part.  And the slightly psychotic, mommy attachment issues part.

Flawed superheroes that are actually human intrigue me more than the super meta humans / mutants / aliens etc.  Why?  Because I feel that flawed humans not only have to battle evil villains but their own demons as well.  And Tony Stark has to be one of the most flawed of superheroes. 

Orphaned at a young age when his parents died from faulty brakes in a car accident, the young 15 year old MIT Electrical Engineering grad's first project upon inheriting Stark Enterprises was to buy off that car company and fix the faulty problem.  Fast forward several years and he's off-in-Afghanistan-to-introduce his new missile design when the air force unit he is travelling with is ambushed and he is taken hostage with a serious injury – shrapnel lodged in his heart.

Forced to build weapons for the enemy, he instead, builds himself a bulletproof power suit complete with pacemaker, artificial heart and flamethrowers and uses it to escape and once he's back home, he advances the design to include jet propelled flight abilities and a MASSIVE arsenal of weaponry AND, he paints it red and gold.  PRETTY!  He’s my kind of superhero – flawed, inventive, with no superhuman abilities to speak of but he can hold his own, with change to spare.

And I guess I really like Tony Stark because in all the comics and animations he looks like the sexiest man alive:  Oded Fehr. PHWARRR.  Unfortunately, in the new upcoming Iron Man movie (summer 2008), Robert Downey Jr. will be playing him. :D  Small consolations.

So now, while I await with bated breath for my hero to appear on the silver screen, I’m going back to my glossies. And my oogling of the sexiest man alive.  Enjoy folks!

Zombies = URRARGH!!!

Oh yeah baby. Bring on the flesh eating zombies and let the brains get flying. This past weekend my hubby brought home a very awful bootleg copy of the newest and third instalment of one of the better zombie movies; Resident Evil: Extinction. Milla Jovovich returns-as-Alice-and-this time she teams up with a bunch of humans on a convoy in a post-apocalyptic world.

As always, most zombie movies are loaded with bullets, gore, truckloads of blood, half eaten brains of the helpless victims and lots of eye candy. Unless of course, the zombie movie you are watching is Paris Hilton’s sex tape, in which case minus all the above except the half eaten brains part.

So Resident Evil: Extinction had all the good bits – graphic shots of people getting mangled, zombies getting shot and blown up, Ali Larter in a tank top, Milla opening several cans of zombie whoopass, and the sexiest MAN alive – Oded Fehr.  OH.  MY. GOD.

Move over Orlando Bloom you pansy momma’ s boy. This is a real MAN!  I mean, seriously.  Look at all that yummy manliness.  Woo.  AND, he’s got a sexy voice.

Okay.  So back to the zombie movie.  This is 5 years after-Raccoon-City-in-Resident Evil: Apocalypse where the zombie making virus has travelled across the globe and basically killed of or zombie-fied all humans, turning earth into a desert wasteland at the brink of extinction. The convoy are what remains of the survivors as they scavenge their way across the country in search of supplies and other survivors.  Led by Claire Redfield (Ali Larter in a tank top) and Carlos Olivera (more yummy manliness) they do their best to protect everyone till-Alice-joins them.

Of course, as with all zombie movies, lots of mindless deaths and several heroic sacrifices are part and parcel to the storyline and Extinction is no different. The best one had to be when Carlos goes down in a blaze of glory in a dynamite loaded gasoline truck, toking on a fatty.  My obsession with sexy Oded Fehr aside; that exit is quite high up the list of ultimate character endings.

And so movie ends-with-Alice-kicking more steroid induced super zombie butt, and then setting up for the next Resident Evil movie. There is no end to it.  I think the only thing that will really sad for me if Resident Evil 4 comes out would be the fact that they already killed off Carlos, so no more Oded Fehr. L  Sadness.

So now, I’m going to go dig through my extensive DVD collection and drag out The Mummy & The Mummy Returns for more Oded Fehr as Ardeth Bay the Medjai.  Phwwarrrr.  Seriously.  This man brings sexy back.  Enjoy the pics folks.

HP5:OOTP

And red hair.  Gotta LOVE red hair.

Also, 3 cheers for diversity!

The Boy Who Lived vs He Who Must Not Be Named! I don’t even need to elaborate. The rebellion begins on July 11^th 2007.  Bring your wands!

Generation Gap

“What movies have you watched lately Jasz?  Are you looking forward to anything?”

“Well, the last movie I caught was Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer but what I really want to watch is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Transformers.”

“Errrrrrr, Transformers.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“I don’t know, seems to be a kiddy movie.”

“HAHA!  It’s only a kiddy movie to YOU luv.  You weren’t a part of the generation that grew up with those cartoons…  When those were popular you were already grown up!  HAHA!”

“Aw shaddup!”

“Not my fault you’re an old man.”

~~~

For the record, my mate is only 38 this year.  But I am right about him not being a part of the Transformers generation. 

He couldn’t remember cartoons like:

Voltron (5 robot cats that combine into a super humanoid robot);

Thundercats (raise your hands if you can name them all and remember Mumrah’s transformation chant);

Silverhawks (which was to me a futuristic space version of Thundercats);

Saber Rider & The Star Sheriffs (Anime style action cartoon and I‘m humming the theme song in my head);

G.I. Joe (I still have the little action figure with the grappling hook and the jet pack back pack!);

M.A.S.K. (how many of those cars did you collect?);

Dino-Riders (reptiles & humans warring in prehistoric dinosaur infested earth with alien technology);

He-Man (who can forget Skeletor on his

Snake

Mountain

);

and his long lost twin sister on another planet She-Ra (I still can’t get over her stupid name);

Robotech (anime style Transformers) and that’s just to name a few.

It’s just like how my nephews & nieces now are all about the 3-D Rolly-Polly-Ollie, Jimmy Neutron & Finding Nemo...  GAWD!  When I was their age I was watching hand drawn Disney cartoons that took 6 years to produce,

Sesame Street

and Fraggle Rock.  Yes puppets were big then.  CGI wasn’t invented yet.

What a long way we have come.  One of my girlfriend’s 4 year old doesn’t even know what a VCR is.  All he knows is TIVO and DVD.  And my 38 year old mate?  He doesn’t know what a blog is, and I had to educate him on the finer points of bidding on eBay and how to sign up for a PayPal account.  Heck, I even had to tell him what “LOL” meant!!!

What is also eye opening is when I chat to my students about the newfangled computer games they play – I love how they call games made in the 90ies like Diablo and Doom ‘Old School’.  To me, old school is games like Alleycat (on DOS, remember that?) or Prince of Persia or Lode Runner or even Legend of Zelda.  Basic graphics, basic storyline, repetitive scenarios & challenges and its IMPOSSIBLE to finish.  The game just got harder and harder till it became humanly impossible for you to keep up.  But nowadays, it’s all about preserving the fragile egos of the child psyche so games are all easy as pie.  It’s all just about the awesome graphics.

Speaking of awesome graphics – these new PS3, Wii, X-Box etc has games that look like movies!!!  Super Mario will never be the same for me again!!!  And some of you Atari loving folks would remember the first ‘tennis’ game – PONG.  That consisted of 2 little platforms opposite each other and a bouncing 4 pixel little SQUARE.  Not sphere.  Square.  Now THAT’S Old School!

Now Wii has this über tennis game with a handheld, motion detection sensor that actually physically allows you to ‘swing’ and ‘hit’ the ball.  Don’t even get me started on Guitar Heroes.  So I thought I’d share a comic from Penny Arcade regarding the Wii and playing Sports on it…

In the meantime, I’m going to finish reading my books (yes I read off paper – none of these newfangled PDFs for me!) while I wait for the premiere of Transformers.  Enjoy the poster.  AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT!

Random Review

I just realised that I’ve been on a blogging spree.  Maybe because its 2007 and I’m feeling creative.  Maybe a lot of things have happened and I feel the need to share it with you folks.  Or maybe, my brain just needed to take a dump.  Who knows?

Today, I just wanted to share a movie review.  My mate John and I wanted to go watch Pathfinder (some Viking action movie starring mad Kiwi Karl Urban) but due to him and his “lets wing it” laid back-ness, showing up late and driving like a racing snail; we didn’t get the movie we wanted.

Aye, tickets were sold out.  It was 2 rows from the screen or nothing.  So we went with the other option which was The Guardian starring Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher.  I was a bit sceptical about the movie because (1) the trailer really didn’t seem all that exciting; (2) most Kevin Costner movies have a very bad habit of being really long and slow and (3) Ashton Kutcher makes me feel like a paedophile but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.

So I bought the tickets and armed with caramel popcorn *mmmmmm popcorn* and colas we went to the darkened theatre.  My favourite thing about movie days has to be the trailers. 

We caught 2 yesterday – The Good Shepard, a movie about the CIA with an all star cast of Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie, Robert De Niro, Billy Cruddup, Joe Pesci and etc; and Bridge to Terabithia from the makers of Narnia. 

Both look amazing and I’m now scouring the book racks at Borders for Bridge to Terabithia.  I’m a purist in the sense that I must read the book before I watch the movie.  I also just realised that I have a very large collection of children’s books…  Maybe I’m just a child at heart.  Maybe I like to keep up with what my ex-students read.  Or maybe I’m just really childish.  Who knows?

Wow this is turning to be a bit random.  Forgive me all, I’m firing on all cylinders and running on very little sleep.  I’m a wee bit wrecked.  And I’m still digressing.  GRRR.

And now back to the movie.  It’s about a famed Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer who, after the devastating death of his crew is re-assigned to teach at the legendary elite Coast Guard A-School.  Wrestling with the loss of his crew, he throws himself into teaching, turning the programme upside down with his unorthodox training methods and inspiring a cocky young rookie to greatness.

To be completely honest IMHO it was not a bad watch.  Just zone out, don’t questions too much and just take it at face value, all in all it was a good show.  Funny at some points, lots of eye candy (for me at least, Ashton is HOT), some very exciting rescue footage and it brought back a lot of memories of basic training…

My only problem with the movie was the fact that it was set up to be a giant recruitment drive.  Put down the popcorn, hand over the sign-up sheet and point the way to the nearest pool.  I’m ready to enlist.  Oh, that and the fact the last 15 minutes of the movie were very painfully and inexcusably cheesy.  When it was over, I had the distinct feeling of needing to stick my fingers through my eyeballs to scratch at my brains.  Ugh.  And the whole thing was as predicted, loooooooooong.

So.  I’m gonna leave you folks with this advice.  Go watch the movie, and then as they do the final rescue, LEAVE or switch off the DVD.  Spare yourself the corny bullshit.  I swear.  It was awful.

Till my next blog, enjoy the movie pictures.  Cheerios!

Save Me Bones For Davey Jones, Savvy?

Aah, I love the smell of summer blockbusters.  The smell of sticky popcorn, leaky hot dogs, spilt cola, air conditioner and fabric cleaner lingers in the darkness.  Just the way I like it. 

And now that the X-Men have made their Last Stand, The Da Vinci Code has been decoded, The Poseidon has sunk, little CGI animals have gone Over The Hedge, Cars have zoomed by and the Omen has made its mark, we now await with bated breathe for the very hyped up and anticipated arrivals of:-

- The Man Of Steel complete with cape, knee high booties, blue spandex and red skivvies [Superman Returns];

- Capt’n Jack Sparrow, Davey Jones and his barnacled motley crew and the Kraken [Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man’s Chest];

- the lady who lives in the swimming pool and freaks the caretaker out [Lady In The Water];

- drifting, racing, fast cars and hot chicks in Japan [The Fast and The Furious - Tokyo Drift]; and

- 3 thieving boys find themselves in the ultimate kung-fu battle of good and evil [Dragon Tiger Gate]

I wonder if there are other’s out there who’s like me in the thoughts that this new Superman might not be ‘all that’.  I can’t help but think that Christopher Reeves’ knee high booties, blue spandex and red skivvies might be a little too big to fill.  Ahh well, we’ll see when the time comes.  In the case the costume doesn’t fit, Superman Returns. *lol* Bite me!

Honestly though, I’m actually only truly interested in the antics of Capt’n Jack Sparrow, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann.  I’m also very curious to see what’s inside Davey Jones’ Chest!  I swear there’s a pirate somewhere deep down as I’m all for swashbucklin’ (these days we call it fightin’ & flirtin’), bootleggin’ (illegal copies of CDs & DVDs galore), rum runnin’ (drink up me hearties, yo ho), and generally lyin’, cheatin’, thievin’ (see my poker face)… AAAARRR!!!

So, meself, me sis and me mates will be headin’ out (in costume, savvy?) to watch the charity premiere (arr curse me kindness) on July 7^th (eat yer hearts out, ya scurvy swabs) and then the blood debt shall be paid!  AAAARRR!!!

To quote Elizabeth Swann, “there will come a time where you’ll have a chance to do what’s right.”

And to quote Capt’n Jack Sparrow, “Aye, I love those moments.  I like to wave at them as they pass by.”

Till then, We’ll Pillage n’ Plunder n’ Rifle n’ Loot; Drink Up Me Hearties YO HO!

Museums & Meridians

O, draconian devil! Oh, lame saint!

A recent movie poster reminded me that the very eagerly awaited Hollywood adaptation of Dan Brown’s critically acclaimed best seller premieres on May 18 at all theatres near you. Now unless you’ve been living in under a rock for the past couple of years you would know what I’m talking about. Seriously people, if you haven’t read the book please ask me and I will loan you my paperback copy (sorry but my illustrated hardcover is too precious to be touched by heathen hands)!!! So the book I’m referring to is the Da Vinci Code. (Note: it’s pronounced daa vin’chee, because I swear I will go medieval on the next person I hear saying it daa vin’see)

The movie, starring Tom Hanks as the enigmatic Harvard symbologist Robert Langdon and Audrey Tautou as the gifted cryptographer Sophie Neveu, the pair race against a ghostly enemy to break a fiendishly clever code. All clues point to covert religious organisation that will stop at nothing to protect a secret that threatens to overturn two millennia of accepted dogma.

I’m a Catholic. I believe in the teachings of the church. But I also loved loved loved the book! Regardless of the lies it spouts, it is still a very well written piece of literature. Bugger all who say that I’m contradictory! So all is natural that I’m dying to see the movie as well!

Anyway, the book and movie are set in Paris (mostly) and if you ever get a chance to see the City of Lights you must see one of the many highlights of the city – La Musée du Louvre /laa mu’say doo loof/, the largest and most famous museum in the world. Formerly a royal palace (Henri VI & Marie Antoinette used to live there before they lost their heads) it now houses approximately 35,000 pieces of priceless paintings, sculptures, artefacts and architecture. Alongside them also lies the most famous painting in the world – the Mona Lisa by the great Renaissance /ren-na-saunce/ visionary, Leonardo da Vinci. Dan Brown draws on Leo’s great mind of logic, forward vision and masterful double entendres which wholly makes the plot exciting.

The other masterpiece that you may find at La Louvre that’s featured in the Da Vinci Code is The Virgin of the Rocks, also by Leonardo da Vinci. There’s another slightly more ‘sterile & benign’ version that hangs at The National Gallery in London (Leo painted the 2nd piece after a lot of religious hoo-ha was made about the 1st one) but I prefer the original ‘darker & grim’ version at La Lourve.

The third highlight of the Da Vinci Code in Paris is the Saint-Sulpice /san sylpis/ Church, the largest church in Paris (it’s slightly bigger than the Notre Dame) and it’s got the cutest mismatched towers. Contrary to the book though, the church was NOT built over a temple of Isis but an ancient Romanesque church that was built sometime in the 13th century and additions were made to the church till it is what it is today.

The defining quality of this church is the gnomon or a sundial of sorts. There’s a meridian brass line (and again, contrary to the book it was NEVER a Rose-Line) that runs across the floor of the church to an obelisk and a set of lenses are set up on one of the windows of the church so at the Equinoxes (March 21st & September 21st) the sunlight would touch the oval plate on the floor near the altar and during the Winter Solstice (December 21st) the brass line on the obelisk. That itself is a wonder of ancient engineering and totally worth going to see!

Of course there’s La Tour Eiffel /laa tur e-fell/ (Eiffel Tower); the Jardin des Tuileries /jhar-daan deh twee-ler-ree/ (Garden of Tulips); Notre Dame de Paris /no-tre ‘daam deh paa-ree/ (Notre Dame Cathedral of Paris); Arc de Triomphe /arc-du-twomp/ (Arc of Triumph); Sacre Coeur /sa-cray cur/ (Sacred Heart Cathedral) and all the other beautiful things along the way but we really don’t have time to go through all of them and they aren’t central to the book/movie.

So that concludes our little tour of Paris. We hope that you enjoyed the brief excursion. Tune in to future blogs when we go where all roads lead to – Rome!

Previews & Reviews

Movie days and movie nights are all good in my book.  Popcorn, zone out factor, junk food, entertainment value and climate control for 2 odd hours is bliss.  What I also look forward to (aside from the actual movie of course) are the TRAILERS!  Those little sneak peeks and insights to the movie – Coming Soon to Theatres near You!!!

Of course there are trailers that look incredible and there’s the ones that you know deep down inside that the movie is going to suck.  Last night we were treated to a horror preview of (a little B-Grade I feel) a girl looking for her mother on a road trip with her friends and they end up at a very old nunnery. Of course, it’s haunted by a nun who wants to punish everyone by making them all meet their fates in similar ways like the martyrs of old i.e. electrocution, drowning, impalement etc.  I was too busy laughing (horror to some people is comedy to me) to catch the title of the movie but if you want a scare/laugh, I’m up for a cheesy b-grade horror flick anytime! 

The other trailer was something that all of us are looking forward to!  Yo Ho, Yo Ho It’s A Pirates’ Life For Me!!!  It’s the 2^nd installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean with the subtitle of Dead Man’s Chest and of course it’s not a Pirate movie without the ultimate pirate of all – the legendary Captain Jack Sparrow aka Johnny Depp.  Like its predecessor, Dead Man’s Chest is filled with CGI and completely riddled with bullets, swarming with swashbucklers, festooned with undead monsters and not forgetting the two lovely eye candies Will & Elizabeth Turner (Orlando Bloom *SCREAM* & Kiera Knightly *hubba-hubba* respectively).  ARR!

Anyway, for the actual movie last night we watched an all round feel good Disney movie (it’s Easter, only happy movies for now) about 8 little puppies frolicking in the snow.  I make it sound so fluffy.  It wasn’t.  [spoiler warning] Doggies die (and being the dog lover I am that’s BAD BAD BAD!).  Set in Antarctica and the onset of winter, a scientist goes to search for a piece of meteorite from Mars and in order to get him to the mountain a hot guide and a team of sled dogs (Siberian Huskies *aaw*) drag him to the mountain.

Cue scientist breaks his leg, fall into the icy cold water and hanging on for dear life and hot guide gets his doggies to save him, braving the coldest snowstorm in 25 years to get them back to base.  Cue hot girl pilot and comic relief friend and mean nasty boss to bundle them from the cold and insist that they fly directly back to civilization but because they have to evacuate all the people, there’s no room in the plane for the 8 doggies *cry* and the pups have to be left behind to face the blizzard.

Then guilt ridden hot guide tries to go back to the South Pole to save his babies to no avail.  The doggies are obviously not stupid and they break free of the chains (won’t spoil it for you as to which doggies don’t make it) and they fend for themselves battling cold, hunger, injury and a very mean leopard seal for about 6-7 odd months while the humans faff around trying to save them.

Anyway, happy endings (except for the poor pups that didn’t make it) for all when the humans finally get to the base and the doggies all come running.  Cue touching moments and the hot guide and hot girl pilot get together and the doggies are saved!!!  If you haven’t watched the movie, bring a blanket and some warm coffee or chocolate.  Don’t forget the tissues.  Then go home and cuddle and overfeed your dogs like I did.

Till then, Save Me Bones For Davey Jones, Savvy?  ARRR!

Vampires & Werewolves

I love movie days; it means I get to do fuck-all and zone out in a dark, air-conditioned room and eat all the junk food I want for 2 odd hours.  Life is good.  Provided you don’t have to take a leak.  Anyway.

Yesterday 5 of us boys (I'm classified as a guy when I hang out these buggers); 3 vampires (that’ll be me, Cye’Ren & Khayman), 1 werewolf (Ursa), and 1 weregoat (Lost) went to watch that new vampire and werewolf sequel - Underworld Evolution.  Something about the immortal twin sons of Corvinus the First Immortal; one bitten by a bat hence turning into a vampire and the other bitten by a wolf hence turning into a werewolf.  If you have seen the first movie you know its all violence, guns, blood, nasty werewolf transformations, gore, crap being blown up, fangs, sex and Kate Beckinsale in the tightest rubber catsuit.  Woo.  Yeah.  Then you know the sequel to that kind of movie means there's more violence, guns, blood, crap being blown up etc and of course; Kate Beckinsale in the tightest rubber catsuit.  Woo.  Yeah.  Told you I'm a guy.

So we loaded up on hotdogs, cola, popcorn, fish & chips, sweet corn, more popcorn and went in to watch the movie.  We were surrounded by couples on dates - the guys go for the violence and Ms. Beckinsale and the girls go for Scott Speedman (who?) and the very reason to scream and cling on to their boyfriends.  This the one of the reasons I love watching 'horror/action' films.  Plenty of action on the screen, and plenty of people getting some action around us!

FUNNY AS HELL!

We had really good seats, right in the middle of the middle of the theatre.  We were also eating really noisily (gimme a break, YOU show me how one eats popcorn quietly) and chuckling through the opening sequence and we got quite a few nasty "shhhhhhhh" from the plebeians but we don't care.  The movie, while being rather action/gore packed was rather…  Corny.  There were so many clichés!  Like every time the two protagonists were having a tender moment *gag* a giant vampire bat on steroids or a overgrown walking hairball on steroids or a massive piece of rock hurled by the aforementioned two creatures on steroids would impale/crush/land on the poor couple!  Cue screams from the girls in the audiences and cue roaring laughter from the 5 of us.  Oh I cannot leave out the corniest lines like:

        Seline:  What will I become?

        Corvinus:  The future!

*cue dramatic music*

HAHA!  Like tell me that’s not the corniest line ever!  Overall the movie was interesting enough.  The plot was a bit thin, there was way too many things being blown up, the graphics and special effects were not as 'realistic' as we would have liked it to be but all in all it was a rather good comedy/zone out movie.  Of course Kate Beckinsale spending the entire movie running around in that tightest rubber catsuit doesn’t hurt.  Neither did the caramel popcorn.  Mmm.  Popcorn.