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Blood & Chocolate

The girl wipes the sweat off her brow as she steps back after fastening the last buckle in place.  Admiring her handiwork she brushes a tuft of damp red hair off her face as she unfurls her pack of tools.  Dangling like a limp puppet from the rafters above was her comatose quarry.  An evil smile creeps onto her face as she selects a small scalpel.

Looking up at the would-be thief, her smile stretches.  Her free hand trails along the long wooden table till it reaches a box of chocolates. Selecting one at random, she delicately bites into the confection, savouring the contrasting flavours of the bitter chocolate and sweet caramel filling.  Licking her fingers she picks up a bottle of smelling salts and waves it under the nose of her bound victim.

The intruder jerks his head back as the foul odour unceremoniously rips him back to awareness.  Blinking hard he shakes his head to clear it.  Surveying the room, his expression changes first from confusion to panic; and then to anger as his discovers that he is bound, stripped and helpless.

She watches him in amusement as she sucks the remains of the first piece of chocolate from her fingers.  Did you find what you were looking for; she asks him sweetly.  He answers her with an ugly snarl.

She tsks benignly as she drags the blunt end of the scalpel across his bare skin.  Is that any way to talk to a lady; she chides him.  He could do nothing but glare impotently at her, willing himself not to flinch at the touch of the cold steel on his naked body.

You picked the wrong house to break into you know; she continues, all the while tracing little patterns on his skin.  Unless of course THAT is what you came for; her sentence trails off.  He remained impassive but small beads of sweat forms on his exposed skin as her knife came to rest on his lower abdomen.

Now what shall I do with you and your sparkling company; she asks as her expression changes to mock thoughtfulness.  I will not be a very good host for my guest of honour if I don’t at least try for some festive entertainment.  And oh, where are my manners now; she covers her mouth with her hand in a scandalised parody.  Picking up the almost new box of chocolates she kindly offers him a piece, ignoring the fact that he was bound and dangling from her ceiling. 

You don’t like chocolates; she frowns at his unresponsive form.  No matter, more for me then; she indifferently returns the box to the table.  You know, chocolates have this wonderful chemical in them called endorphins, and it makes people happy; she prattles cheerfully.  Picking up another piece of chocolate she looks up into his eyes.  You know what else makes me happy aside from chocolates; she asks him expectantly.  When no answer was forthcoming, she smiles beatifically and pops the truffle into her mouth.  Blood; she says.  There is nothing quite like the smell and taste of blood and chocolate.

With that she turns the knife that was resting on his lower left abdomen carefully.  With calculated precision, the blade slowly punctures his skin.  An involuntary gasp escaped the thief’s mouth as she expertly guides the sharp edge to part his skin in the shape of a large triangle about the size of a hand span.

A small trickle of crimson fluid starts to ooze from the shallow cut.  Oh, my; she exclaims without taking her eyes off the wound.  Dipping her head slightly, she seductively drags her tongue across the triangular incision, pausing to kiss the area clean.  The slight sting of her chocolate stained saliva did not even register to the thief but his body struggled against his bonds to recoil at the contact of her mouth.

Get off me you filthy animal; he screams in revulsion.  Frowning, she scowls darkly up at him.  Filthy you say; her voice betraying her anger cracks slightly.  Nay, I’d think not.  It is people like you who should have the honour of that title.  Filthy indeed; she spits out the word like it was rancid.

Snatching up another piece of chocolate, she chews viciously on it before moving back to the triangular patch of incised skin.  Choosing another knife much like a spatula, she maliciously gouges out a corner of his epidermis and with a single yank; she rips it clean off his muscles.  Ignoring his agonised screams and the intoxicating smell of fresh blood as it spills out on her fingers and onto the floor; she drops the spatula and picks up the scalpel again.

Not bothering to clean her hands or to dispose the piece of skin, she makes another selection from the box.  Using his detached flesh like a handkerchief, she uses it to pick up a square of chocolate. Greedily, she puts the entire lot into her mouth, devouring everything, sucking her fingers clean at the end.  Shuddering in pleasure at the taste, she turns back to her whimpering guest.

Rot in hell, filthy demon spawn; he valiantly coughs out between rasping gasps.  Frowning again, she purses up her lips.  I’ve told you not to use that word; she scolds him like one would scold a misbehaving child.  But seeing that the lesson was not learnt we shall have to try again; she says.  Moving the knife higher up on his torso till she reached his sternum she then cuts in another triangle all the way to his clavicles.

Digging in deep, she takes care to engrave the lines in his breastbone and ribs.  The pain proved too much for the thief and he passes out from the shock.  Nonplussed she seizes the bottle of smelling salts and revives him.  No my sweet, it won’t do for you to be daydreaming; she tells him firmly as he comes to.

Go to hell; he curses her again, his voice weak from the pain.  A smirk curls at the corner of her mouth.  Leaning close to him she runs her tongue along the edge of the new incision, licking up the bright red rivulets.  In the corner of her eye she observes him in amusement as he trashes uselessly, her tongue seemingly giving him more discomfort than her blade.

Get away from me; he almost shrieks in desperation.  Laughing, she taunts him.  Are you not enjoying my hospitality?  Or perhaps you’d prefer me to venture a bit lower; her voice was husky as she seductively slides her hand down to fondle his naked crotch.

I’d rather die; he spat vehemently.  Narrowing her eyes, she takes her hand away from him.  That can be arranged; she shot back.  Dropping the scalpel she picks up the spatula again.  Starting from the bottom of the triangle, she peels the corner patch of skin upwards slowly.  His howls of agony echo throughout the room and she closes her eyes in enjoyment.

Reaching over to the almost empty box of chocolates she chooses one from the two remaining pieces.  Sulking petulantly at the final confection nestled in the pretty container she looks up at him.  My last two pieces; she tells him sadly.  That means I will have to speed things up.  I should have gotten a bigger box had I known you were going to be this much fun.

Placing the second last piece between her teeth but not chewing on it, she grips the torn corner of skin from his midsection between her thumb and forefinger.  Applying even pressure, she slowly and cleanly peels off the sectioned off patch of skin as his screams grew to a crescendo before dying off as his senses shut down in self defence.

It was only when she had the entire piece of skin in her hands that she began to feast on the chocolate that was already in her mouth.  Moving quickly as his blood was dripping down onto the floor in alarming amounts; she revives him one last time with the smelling salts.

Shivering violently from his rapidly draining body fluids, he was barely lucid at this point.  However, she made him watch as she stuffed his skin into her mouth as she made a meal of his flesh and blood.  Patience, my sweet, we are almost there; she tell him soothingly between mouthfuls.  At her last swallow she waits as he gasps wordlessly for a while before finally whispering to her; finish it you filthy animal. 

With practiced speed she removes her clothes and drops them into a pile on the bloodied floor.  Picking up the last piece of chocolate she looks him in the eye.  Oh I fully intend to finish it; she says.

Sliding the chocolate between her lips, she steps closer.  His eyes widens at the sight of his naked tormentor’s body as she mutates before him into a very large and carnivorous animal ‘Canis lupus’.  Snarling rabidly in hunger, the snow white wolf circles him once and the last thing that he ever saw was a white blur lurching for his throat.

Author’s note:  I was at a loss on what to write for my blog when I had this dream that practically begged to be written.  I hope you enjoyed this.  I did immensely.  Maybe someday I will turn it into a full fledged story but for now, that’s just about all the violence I can handle for the day.  Kudos and brickbats are all welcome to the usual address.  :)

Bookwormy

I in a bit of a writing dry spell recently, be it blogs or my short sexies or even trying to finish editing my unfinished works.  This is mostly due to the fact that I have been on a mad reading binge and I’m currently finishing up 4 different books simultaneously.  While I don’t claim to be (that) well read and my taste in books presently happens to be quite firmly in the Fantasy genre (you know - magic, swashbuckling, elves, faeries & dragons?) but you know what?  We all need a little bit of magic in our lives so here we go.

Feist_dark_realm The 1st of these novels is the 2nd book of Raymond E. Feist’s Darkwar SagaInto A Dark Realm.  This carries the story on from the first of Feist’s series; Magician, following the story of a kitchen boy named Pug.  Years down the road Pug, now a powerful magician is desperately trying to eliminate a threat that will destroy the peaceful worlds of Midkemia and Kelewan.  Leading a desperate mission to a malevolent empire called Dasati, Pug and his companions hope to gather vital information to defeat the enemy.  As with all of Feist’s works, I DEVOURED this book within several hours of non-stop nail-biting reading and I now find myself clawing at my eyes with symptoms much like drug withdrawals awaiting the next book Wrath Of A Mad God.  Only the greater powers know when it’s coming out.  I will itch and twitch in the meantime.

Hobb_forestmage_1 The 2nd of these books is the 2nd book of Robin Hobb’s Soldier Son TrilogyForest Mage.  It concerns the story of young Nevare Burvelle, a second son of a baron trying to make a place for himself in the greater scheme of things first as a cadet in the

Cavalla

Academy

(cavalry) and then trying to fight the demons within when an ancient Tree Woman of a savage race claims a part of his soul.  Entertaining as Hobb’s writing is, I sometimes find her protagonist(s) to be a little on the whiny/stand-alone-complex side.  Classic example of this can be found from her previous books, The Farseer Trilogy and The Tawny Man Trilogy.  But nevertheless, I highly recommend her works all the same.  :)  Psst, start with her Liveship Traders Trilogy, its awesome!

Canavan_wilds My 3rd book is also a 2nd part book of Trudi Canavan’s Age Of The Five TrilogyLast Of The Wilds.  If you have read my previous blog about Canavan’s Magicians Guild Trilogy you would know that I’m a HUGE fan of hers and this series is no different.  Following Aurora’s humble origins to her being chosen as an avatar of the 5 Circlian Gods when her friendship with an outcast atheist Dreamweaver threatens to destroy her future when war is forced upon them by a neighbouring nation.  Being torn between her connection to the Dreamweavers and her loyalties to her Gods, and having to fight off a mysterious plague and the return of their vicious adversaries, she is forced to make choices that will change the world forever.  I was RIVETED to every page – so far no one I’ve read has made me switch loyalties from one character to another quite like Canavan.  The 3rd book Voice Of The Gods is already out in the States but I’m looking to complete my set of the British edition (I will insist on ENGLISH) so wait I must for it to be released here soon.  Sigh.

Temeraire_1 My 4th book is the 1st of Naomi Novik’s Temeraire series (which after a long and painful hunt on this side of the planet proved fruitless before a chance bargain bin book dig did I finally managed to obtain this).  The story is set in the times of the Napoleonic Wars, where Dragons are bred for use as airborne warships.  The series focuses on the title dragon, Temeraire, as he is hatched on a British Naval vessel and attaches himself to the Captain.  I find this to be very reminiscent of the Dragonriders Of Pern (by Anne McCaffery) but Novik style is very well thought out and the pace she sets for her stories are just marvellous!  I haven’t finished this yet but trust me, I’m savouring every word.  You seriously don’t feel the need to skip paragraphs in case you miss something.  I’m now officially a Novik fan.  Oh and btw, if any of you kind folks feel the need to help me source out book 2 & 3 I will be eternally grateful!

I just realised that I have made a switch from male fantasy writers to female fantasy writers.  I guess it’s because I used to find female authors relatively ‘dry’ – Janny Wurts & Mercedes Lackey and at some point even Anne McCaffery wasn’t exactly intriguing to me unfortunately.

Tolkien_hurin I was all about Robert Jordan’s Wheel Of Time and David EddingsElenium & Tamuli, the Belgariad & Malloreon; and his Dreamers series.  Let’s not forget Terry Brooks’s Shannara series and the legendary R.A. Salvatore with his massive Forgotten Realms epic.  And I don’t need to speak of J.R.R. Tolkien of course.  I make it a point to read at least one of his books every year and with his latest posthumous completion from Christopher Tolkien (J.R.R.’s youngest son) called The Children Of Húrin you can bet good money that I will be poring over it soon enough.

The other book I’m awaiting desperately with bated breath is from a very well known British female author.  Her 7 part series about the adventures of a young wizard has made her a household name and book sales around the world have made her richer than the Queen of England.  5 movies have been made to date, several words has been inserted into our English vocabulary (muggle being one) and people queue up overnight and dress in costume for her book launchings.  Nothing since Star Wars has there been this much hype over an author and her works.

Hp_hallows I don’t even need to name drop.  This is none other than the great J.K Rowling and her Harry Potter series.  The 7th and final book; Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows is due to be released in July so as soon as I finish these 4 books that I’m reading, I’ll be tearing through book 1 to 6 again (for like the 50th time) as a lead up to book 7.

I know some of you out there feel the need to ‘fight the taste of the masses’ and NOT *gasp* read her superb works, you seriously don’t know what you are missing.  Yes Dale, I’m talking about you.  The way Rowling weaves her words, it is so complex yet her humour and the way her characters connect with each other make it a very easy read.  My sister loved it so much she went out and procured for herself the entire set of the books on CD so that she may listen to it while commuting.

Anyway, that’s enough from me for now.  If you feel the urge to pick up these books but are doubtful that you may not like them, I can guarantee that you will – (not to blow my own trumpet but) my writing style and humour reflects all my author idols – so if you have read my works and liked them, be assured that you will love my book recommendations.  Specialis Revelio!

Uncommon Intelligence

I recently had a very interesting conversation with my cousin Naomi about our fear of the education system in the world.  It all started with her posting a very interesting YouTube clip about Americans Are Not Stupid – with subtitles.

Some of my favourite bits from that YouTube clip:

Q:  What is the religion-of-

Israel'-?

A:  Israeli?

Q:  How many sides does a triangle have?

A:  FOUR!

A:  There is no sides. One?

Q:  How many kidneys does a person have?

A:  One.

Q:  Which state does KFC come from?

A:  What the chicken?  I don’t know. I really don’t know.

Q:  Okay do you know what KFC stands for?

A: 

Kentucky

Fried Chicken right?

I can’t even BEGIN to comprehend the sheer stupidity of these people. I mean come on!  I know lots of folks out there are not trivia whores like myself but for the love of all that is holy why can’t these people know a bit more about the world? I’m not asking for much.  Basic geography, some general knowledge, maybe even a desire to actually know a bit more than your front lawn?

You would think that with technology as it is today with information literally at your fingertips with Wikipedia and Google that people would learn to overcome being ignorant morons but NOOOOOOOO.

Basic Murphy’s Law is it not?

When someone makes something idiot-proof, someone will make a better idiot.

Naomi then told me about her fear of the British education system when she overheard the following conversation:

A:  What, you mean there's a country called-Georgia-I thought it was just an American state! Where is it anyway?
B: Yeah I only found out because I met someone from-Georgia-and it's in-Eastern-Europe-somewhere.

Georgia_3 

Kinda makes you wonder why people are debating so heatedly over whether or not-TURKEY-is-in-Europe-when people seem to think that even-Georgia-is-in-Europe-LOL.  I shouldn’t laugh; I’ve had that conversation before.  I however, just mess with people heads and tell them that the country is next-to-

Kazakhstan

-in-the-Middle-East-.

**Like duh of course I know it doesn’t border-on-Kazakhstan-because-Georgia’s northern neighbour-is-Russia-and to the south-is-Turkey-and-Armenia-and in the-east-is-Azerbaijan-see???

I now have a witty comeback for when someone asks me if I believe there is intelligent life on other planets.  Usually, I just tell them that as a Catholic I don’t believe in extraterrestrial life but now, I’m gonna say that I don’t believe there is intelligent life on THIS PLANET, nevermind other planets.

A Tooth For A Tooth?

The amount of stupid people I come across in my lifetime is mind boggling.  Seriously!  I had the most nonsensical conversation with the girl who runs my mom’s office – she has to be the most superstitious person I’ve ever met in my life!

The conversation started when I went in to pick up some reports that needed translating and she met me at the door with said reports and she commented that she only just noticed that I have “bound teeth.”

Retainer I nodded, knowing that she was referring to the fine thin wire attached to my retainer wrapping around the upper row of my front teeth.  For added drama I popped it out to show her and she shrieked at it like I offered her a spider, squealing about how “ugly it is!”

She then asked me what the heck I was wearing it for.  I replied that it’s to correct the shifting of my teeth as I age and then she squealed, “I didn’t know that teeth can move!”Braces

Okay, I mean that’s a fair assumption for people who never had to suffer braces.  But then this next bit came up!

She asked me how it feels in my mouth.  So I told her that it’s a little uncomfortable as I can’t quite taste my food with the plate on the roof of my mouth and then I jokingly said its almost like wearing dentures and that she should take care of her teeth so that she never has to suffer either…

Then she exclaimed, “You CANNOT do that because when you’re 80+ and if you still have all your own teeth you will be stealing the health and prosperity from your next generation to pay the price for you to keep your teeth!”

Yes, you read that right.

I was so flabbergasted at her vehemence on that little tidbit I could only sputter in shock.

Then she offered ‘proof’.  Apparently her paternal grandmother was a healthy old lady of 85 with all her own teeth and completely capable of taking care of herself.  I thought that was something to be very proud of.  But NO! 

Her family starting with the her eldest uncle passed away after being sick for a long time, then his wife followed, then her 2nd uncle got sick too, then her 3rd uncle had a heart attack and then before it could “get any worse” they all ganged up and ‘confronted’ the poor old lady who just had to bury her firstborn son and daughter in law and they told her:

“Mom/Grandma, we are very sorry but we have no choice.  YOU forced us into this.  We are going to take you to the dentist to get one tooth of yours removed by force.  Please try and understand this is for the good of the family.”

Like, WOW.  Talk about a kick in the teeth.

I just blurted out “where’s the logic in that?”  She said there doesn’t need to be logic in that belief because it has been proven to be true.

Honestly, if I were that old lady and my kids and grandkids told me that they needed to yank out my perfectly healthy teeth because I’m the cause of making them sick, they will find me armed to the teeth to fight them tooth and nail.

Sweet tooth or eyeteeth, it sure as hell brings new meaning to An Eye For An Eye, A Tooth For A Tooth.False

BIRTHDAY!!!

For all of you who didn’t know, it was my birthday this past Friday. I ate too much and drank too much but hey, that’s a weekend celebration for ya…

So what happened?

Friday 4th May 2007:

Woke up, kipped to my mom’s office and ran a few banking and post office errands for her and when I finished I picked up a friend and went straight to the spa for 5 hours of bliss. Going home feeling like tenderized

Kobe

beef; I caught up with gossip and tried on the jade bangles mom left for me. Dinner later was with family and friends consisted of lamb chops, 2 types of stingray (braised and grilled), fried glass noodles, leafy green vegetables, thick gooey flour noodles with black sauce, 2 types of squid (grilled and deep fried) and drunken ginger chicken. Dessert was freshly cut fruits and ice cream cake.  YUM.  Went home with indigestion, had some beer and called it a night.

Saturday 5th May 2007:

Woke up still feeling full from dinner, showered and went with Ursa to visit cousin Sara and her hubby Gerard and her little happy ankle biter Christian. Christian is 2 so we brought the turtle to visit him as well – and after telling me repeatedly “ontyjas’mee-i-sawtutu-on-tv” he spent about an hour sloshing the poor turtle around in the tank. Had lunch with them and threw the baby around a bit on the carpet and finally read him a story and put him down for his afternoon nap we went back and I crashed out for 2 hours while the boys went shopping for barbecue supplies. Woke up to nice onion and pumpkin cooking and fresh marinade smells and I flopped on the couch while the boys ran around filling the eski with ice, beer, juice and vodka and making the salads and while waiting for everyone else to show up we sat around and watched Pirates and drank beer…

Heading to the pool and barbecue pit as the sun set, we started the fire (after about half an hour of heroic fanning by PyroBobot) and the meat – lamb, beef and sausages started to get cooked. Basically the whole night was boys with anime porn, fire, beer, meat, vodka, fire, meat, more vodka, more meat and finally we topped it off with a mass wrestling match where the losers get thrown into the pool. Ursa – big Sumo boy he is, won of course.  Finally packing up at almost midnight, we headed back to watch 300 on DVD (so blood and violence to top off an awesome night) and finish the beer and vodka…

Sunday 6th May 2007:

Woke up to a slight hangover, showered and grabbed the boys out for dim sum brunch. Polished off enough food to feed a small 3rd world country, we went to get orange juice. Back at home we loaded up on vodka and OJ, Lays chips and Star Wars, all to the soundtrack of Ursa’s snoring. As the temperature went up to 36 degrees Celsius, we hid in the comforts of air-conditioning and iced screwdrivers.  By the time dinner came about, I couldn’t drive.  We ate a quick slap up meal, went home and zzzzzzzzz.

It’s now Monday and slight hangover notwithstanding, I feel awesome. And my favourite highlights of the weekend?

-         Christian running up to me to scream at me, “ontyjas’mee-i-wana-guzin!” In English that would be ‘Aunty Jasmine I want a cousin’ but Christian, Aunty Jasmine needs to get married first before she can make you a cousin…

-         Khayman running full tilt across the floor towards Hazrul to flying tackle him into the pool but ended up slipping on a wet patch and somersaulting, literally, arse over teakettle into the swimming pool.

-         Lost ripping his shorts at the crotch and displaying /FLAUNTING his hairy goat trinkets for the WORLD to see. Ugh.  My eyes.

-         Lost making me divest Hazrul of his electronics so the rest of the boys could wrestle him into the pool… And into the pool he went, complete with shoes, wallet, pants, shirt & socks.

-         Pok and I double teaming a cussing PyroBobot face first into the pool and when he came up sputtering all he could do was show us the finger. LOL.

-         Ursa needing to help me tie my bikini top back up after a tandem barrel-roll into the pool ended up with my rip cords getting pulled off… *blush*

-         Susan and I smoking up the restaurant with the dry ice from the ice cream cake packaging like little 3 year olds.

-         Chocolate.  Ice.  Cream.  Cake.  Like, duh.

-         Sloshy Sunday – doing absolutely fuck-o, drinking chilled heavy screwdrivers, reading Raymond E. Feist, listening to Lacuna Coil, nibbling on chocolate and Lays chips, half watching Star Wars and listening to Ursa snore the place down and slowly getting FUBAR.  Awesome.

-         Vodka.  OMG.  With OJ.  OMFG.

To everyone who wished me, thanks for the thoughts! For those of you who forgot / didn't know, I still luv ya!  And to my favourite boys; you bozos rock. Really.  *muak muaks*

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